Do children owe their parents anything?
The bitter truth? No, they don’t.
Let me just say this upfront, I love and respect my parents.
That being said, what do you think about the question above?
Do you have the guts to hear the true answer?
Do you even want to consider the true answer, if you are a parent?
I may be biased because I am not even married yet so it may look like I am playing for my own team here. But I think as an adult, I have the capacity to think about a topic objectively.
So, my answer to the above question is the bitter pill that all the parents need to swallow today, that their children owe them nothing.
Why?
Let’s examine.
It is your conscious choice, mostly
Nobody forced you to have a baby. You are solely responsible for bringing a new life into this world.
Reproduction is the basic trait of every living thing on this planet but again, that is a choice. We as humans have the capacity to make our own decisions. We can think about our actions.
This only means that you as adults decided to procreate being well aware of the outcome.
As you bring a new life into this world, you and only you are responsible for it.
Your children never came to you and begged to bring them into this world.
You brought them into this world, so you have to take care of them, provide for them, and make sure they become well-rounded, fully functional adults.
Your selfish motivations
Let’s be truthful here. As adults, you wanted to experience the joy of parenting, you wanted to see those cute little smiles on your own child’s face, you wanted to squish those chubby lips of your cute little baby.
Did you not want all these things?
You did.
You wanted to experience the joy that comes with all these things.
Little babies are cute. You wanted to have your own, hence you went ahead and took necessary actions.
That child had no say in this decision. Maybe he/she didn’t want to come into this world.
When your motivations are selfish, then why should a child pay the price for that?
Why should that child owe you anything, when it already provided you that joy that you sought from it.
You cannot unload all your expectations on another life
Let’s make this thing clear, you don’t own your children.
A soul came into this world through you.
You only acted as a vessel for that. Do not ever mistakenly think that now you own that life. No one ever owns anyone in this world.
Parents often say that they sacrificed a lot for their children.
Well, the bitter truth is what other option is there?
A life that I am solely responsible for bringing into this world, would I ever leave it to die?
There is no other option than to take care of it and raise it well.
But don’t ever tie that life with your own chains of expectations.
Parents should start detaching themselves from their children as they realize that their children can function well in this world.
But expectations of parents never end.
And due to these expectations, there are disagreements and fights in the family too.
This is the uncomfortable truth that when we become parents we start to think our life begins and ends with our children. They become the center point of parents' lives. Parents then use this excuse of sacrificing their own lives for their children to burden them with the weight of their expectations. They expect their children to be a certain way. They don’t allow their children to exercise their full freedom. Sometimes they are overprotective and impede the growth of their children.
You see, raising another life is not an easy task. That is why not all of us should become parents until we are fully ready for it.
And even when we become one, we should take care of our children and then let them live freely in this world without expecting anything in return.
The thing is that if children are provided their full freedom, and the parents only act as their guides/mentors without burdening them with their own unfulfilled expectations, the children do return and take care of them in old age.
I write on my blog daily. This is day 67 of my daily writing challenge for 2022. I write about what interests me. There is no word limit. I am doing this simply to become a better writer. Tag along with me and share your own journey.
