You need to be selfish
Selflessness is good, but not at the start.
Look after yourself first.
You don’t need to become an altruist when your own life is in shambles.
Figure out your own life first and then take on the responsibility of others.
That doesn’t happen in this world though. We espouse the philosophy of selfless service towards others. This tenet of selfless service is preached throughout the world like a gospel. But this needs to be understood deeply, not at a superficial level only.
Like, when you are in an airplane, you are always encouraged to wear your own oxygen mask first before helping others put on theirs. That is a sane principle that we should directly apply in our own lives too.
But if we do, we are seen as selfish. Even so, we ourselves feel the guilt of putting our own benefit before the other. The principle of self-preservation is entrenched in even the tiniest cell of our body, so why wouldn’t we apply it without feeling the weight of the world on our shoulders?
Always sort your own house first
Do not even attempt to figure out how to sort other people’s lives before setting your own nicely first. If you do so, you will feel a nice feeling at that time. But in the long term, if you keep on this behavior, your own life will become a mess.
I also think we often use this altruistic tendency to run from facing our own issues. We are afraid of facing the truth of our own inadequacy to fix our lives and thus move on to fix the others.
Your credibility also stands on shaky ground if you start to preach without implementing the teachings in your own life first to fix your own problems.
I do think that if every person focuses on himself first and fixes their own problems, this world would become a much better place. But instead, we all run from our own problems, and try to fix others' issues first.
No selfless acts
We can only give what we have in abundance.
So if you are helping others selflessly it means that you have an excess of good in you?
Yes, that may be true.
But again, analyze this clearly in your head before reaching that conclusion.
Are you really acting selflessly here?
Aren’t you expecting to feel that feel-good sensation in your heart when you help others?
Isn’t your act of putting others before yourself already an act of selfishness when you know that you will receive that feeling of joy in the end?
Or if you want to think this from a spiritual perspective, aren’t you collecting brownie points so that you get to go to that eternal place after your demise from this planet earth?
Then why do we say that our act is a selfless act?
It isn’t.
Every act in this world has a motive behind it.
Be selfish initially, and then selfless in the end
Make your own life first, and then become capable to provide for others.
Earn money, collect resources and then help as many people as you can.
You would have credibility too that you can use to further your cause even more.
This can’t be done when you don’t have money.
Be selfish in the beginning and then selfless in the end.
I write on my blog daily. This is day 65 of my daily writing challenge for 2022. I write about what interests me. There is no word limit. I am doing this simply to become a better writer. Tag along with me and share your own journey.
